Molestation, When Will It Stop?

“Two days back, a guy lowered his pants, and started masturbating at my neighbor, in front of her home.”

I was out, for locking the gate. It was a little after eight. A guy came on his bike, and he began looking sideways. He missed me because it was dark. My neighbor who's around 23, comes home from work after 8, and she walks till home. That guy stopped his bike, and as soon as my neighbor entered the lane, he lowered his pants a little on his bike itself, and started masturbating. We live in a very silent and secluded area, and almost all people goes inside their houses relatively early, hence making the area more secluded.

There was no one, except me, who watched it from a distance. A lot of you may be thinking why I didn't shout, well, because firstly I thought him to be a random guy looking for some address, secondly as it was only dimly lit road, it took me few moments to register what he was doing, and thirdly, all this happened in 2–3 minutes, and my mind stopped working. You can imagine no girl can think anything if in 24 years she witness a random guy, taking down his pants, and masturbating in front of her neighborhood, like it's a very normal thing. Else I would have surely noted down the number.

He masturbated, he made sure that she see him masturbating, and after she ignored him and went inside her home, he pulled up his pants, and ran off on his bike. This is what a girl can be subjected to in front of her own house at 8 in the night. I came inside and told my elder sister and mother what happened, I also spoke to that girl, and my mother spoke to her mother. Her mother said that she will not allow her girl to do job.

Wow. She was molested. But now she lost her freedom even when it was she who was violated.

That guy, he still has his freedom, and is probably doing this with other girls as well.

Many of us Indians think that by limiting a girl and her freedom, we can keep her safe. Let me tell you, my neighbor was fully clothed, a formal trousers and a full sleeved shirt, only her face was visible. She was just returning to her home after a long day of work. She had no fault, other than that she is a girl and works( in that molester's eyes).

That criminal should be tracked down and should be punished, however, it's not the case. Her guardians declared unanimously that their daughter won't work anymore, sit at home, and maybe married in a year or so.

So, who actually lost here? The victim or the criminal? The victim was molested, the victim lost her financial Independence, her job, her freedom. She cannot do what she wants anymore. She was violated, and terrorized. The criminal, on the other hand, is still out somewhere, waiting for his new target. His new target can be me, can be you, someone related to you, or a little child, or an elderly woman of 60. That target can be anyone, anywhere, of any religion, of any age, of any skin tone.

The wild animal is still out looking, and waiting for a piece of female meat he can feast on.

Boys have a problem when girls demand separate lines everywhere.

Do girls do it for privileges?

Many do, but most women don't.

Most women do that for safety.

Well, until and unless you guarantee us that all the 10–20–50 men in the Que are all gentleman and not going to touch us anywhere in the context of crowd, we will have the need and demand separate lines of girls. Just don't take guarantee that you won't do it, take guarantee of all the men standing in that line, that none of them will molest us. Sorry to say, just for saving your little time, we cannot let a pervert touch us anywhere.

And it happens. A lot.

Boys have a problem when girls demand boys stand up from their seats in public transport.

Do girls do it for privileges?

Many do, but most women don't.

Most women do that for safety.

Well, until and unless you guarantee us that none of the potential rapist on a public transport grab our bosoms and butt on the context of “crowd”, kindly don't shout on us that we “demand” seats. Gentleman, we don't demand seats, we just try to save ourselves from the mental rape we go through almost everyday.

I don't support criminal men and criminal women. I hate criminals of both gender who misutilize their rights. I'm well aware of how women are misusing their rights, and they're equally wrong. They should be punished too, because no innocent man or woman should go through any kind of crime. But here I'm talking about the genuine girls who wants help, genuine girls like your mother, sister, friend, girlfriend, wife, daughter. Genuine girl like my neighbor who was masturbated at in front of her home. And this is rising around the country.

I am up for equality, just sign a paper that guarantees that I will never be molested in a public transport or a public queue of men. I know that 97–98 men are still nice, else women would have not been alive. It’s those two ill minded criminals which make us feel so unsafe, and we have no way of identifying Just them. I don't want reservation in my CA, I can clear it on my merit, because I know no one at the institute is going to wrong me only because I'm a girl. But in public places, yes I need more security than boys, because I have been molested and touched inappropriately.

I am a genuine girl. I am all up for standing anywhere, I am also up for giving my seat to men, just ensure me no pervert man will ever touch me, and that when I get home from a public area, I don't run to the bathroom because I feel dirty, because I feel dirty hands and eyes and sometimes even more private male organs touching my private body parts in context of “crowd”.

Will you let your sister stand in a queue of stranger men, or make her stand in a crowded bus of men in the name of equality, while you sit peacefully? No, right?

If you will give a little consideration to someone's sister/mother/daughter/wife/girlfriend/best friend, someone else will return the favor to the women who are related to you.

Our society is far from equal. Our society is far, far away from women security. I am yet to find a guy who feels afraid going out on roads after 8–9. I'm yet to find a girl who feels absolutely safe going out alone after 8, especially here in North. Yeah we may be absolutely modern girls, highly educated, independent and whatever, but when it comes to our sexual safety, we don't trust this society even a bit. How can we be really empowered when constantly we are thinking that whether or not we will reach out home safely, or a random molester can come out of anywhere and masturbate in front of us?

So it's my humble request to all the men out there, don't support the criminal women, however when you see a genuine girl/woman who asks for your help on a road, in front of ATM, or in public transport, understand their fear and help them.

Most of the girls DO NOT use gender for privileges. Our gender sometimes is our biggest enemy. Most of us don't want a separate line for saving time, but for saving our humiliation by some pervert guy. Maximum of us don't want the seat for comfort, but so that we can save our dignity. My guy dropping me home after 9 every time we meet, is not my privilege, it's my necessity for my safety.

We. Need. Your. Help. In. Protecting. Us.

Madam knows when the push was deliberate and when not.

As a genuine woman, it is my humble plea, to the fellow genuine men out there, help us protecting our lives, our dignity, our dreams.

And I, as a genuine woman, promise I'll do the same for you.