Love Gone Wrong

Case 1

Last night I was watching one movie in which Katrina Kaif plays the lead female part. Now as we all know Ms Kaif is a beautiful lady. I won't comment on her acting skills because I'm sure I cannot act even half as she does. Now the point is after watching the movie I wanted to be as beautiful as Ms Kaif. I mean which girl wouldn't want to be absolutely drop dead gorgeous. But then I met with the reality. Reality that I am not as gorgeous as Ms Kaif. I'm not 5′10. I'm not as fair as milk. My skin doesn't shine like sparkles. My hair doesn't flow like silk threads. And I certainly cannot walk in heels without feeling like an ostrich.

Oh my heart still pains with the reality, but that's okay.

Case 2

I have this school friend. She's working, and is in a relationship with her school sweet heart. She has her birthday in September. Yesterday in our group, she told us how she and her boyfriend are going to Goa for three days to celebrate her birthday.

Boy I was jealous!

Case 3

I have another friend (yeah seems like I have lots of friends, but that's not the case). So she's a CA, her husband is a CA, they got married three years back, now have a daughter, well furnished home, office, car, and everything that fits in the “picture perfect life”.

Awwww she has a adorable baby!

You get the drift of what am I trying to say?

Do you know what is wrong with relationships in today's society?

It's “what is vs what should be” mentality.

It's “expectation vs reality” situation.

I read answers in this thread. Many writers, and even previously I have written what should be or shouldn't be done to preserve a relationship.

But does a check-point list always ensure a healthy relationship?

Not 100%. You need to do a lot more than a ten points to maintain a relationship.

Now according to case 1, I should feel ugly, according to case 2, sad that I'm not going on vacation with my man on my birthday, and according to case 3, I should feel miserable that I don't have a husband, a baby, a well furnished home of my own, and a degree yet.

But do I feel any of that?

Absolutely No.

Because I am busy in living my own life. I am happy the way it is. I am happy with my looks, my plans of birthday with my guy according to our convenience, and my marital and motherly status. Also I let go of the degree myself with my own choice.

People are vastly unhappy in their relationships because they constantly compare. Compare their relationship with others. They form this whole list in their mind how an ideal relationship should be.

Expectations from a relationship this generation has :

Fun, unconditional love, dancing around the tress, public display of affection, lots of dates, lots of sex, relationship with full freedom of single life, no restrictions, no compromises, no sacrifices, no adjustments, a crispy walk on the bed of roses, smiles and love all the time.

Now I will tell you

The reality of relationships that only 1% seem to understand :

Very very hard, fights, arguments, compromises, sacrifices, adjustments, keeping relationship as one of priority and not a game, conditional love, comparatively less freedom than a single, lots of patience, commitment, communication, loyalty, changes, forgiveness, a bed of thorns lots of time, possessiveness, jealousy, mistakes, tears, love, happiness, togetherness.

Now, as you can see, that the expectations are very different from the reality. And when people who go into a relationship expecting those things, but finally meets with the reality, all they feel is a major disappointment and shock.

Result : Break up.

The thing is, no two relationships can ever be the same. No relationship is hassle free. A relationship needs lots of constant efforts on a daily basis. It takes two very understanding people to carry out the responsibilities of a relationship with each other in every circumstance. Relationship is not always rewarding, sometimes its punishing as well.

So the day when this generation stops comparing their relationship with the one of their relatives, friends, neighbors, celebrities, internet articles, and can put genuine efforts in their own, and can accept the reality of a relationship is completely different from the expectations, most of the relationships will start to flourish.

“Our problem is that we keep on hopping from person to person to form the “right kind” of relationship where everything is right. But the truth is, that's never going to happen. You need to stick with one person through all the rights and the wrongs, and if you can do that, you have found the right person, the right relationship and you need to value that everyday.”