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Showing posts from June, 2019

Why are Indian Feminist unhappy with 'Kabir Singh'?

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I am an Indian feminist and I am not ‘unhappy' with Kabir Singh. I have seen Arjun Reddy and planning to watch Kabir Singh soon, but heard that both the stories are almost identical, so I guess I can expect the exact replica but with Shahid Kapoor speaking in Hindi this time. So coming back to the point, I as an Indian feminist liked the movie ‘Arjun Reddy' when it came to ‘entertainment'. However, there are few points which I disliked in the movie from a practical point of view, and I think anyone, not just a feminist, anyone with a logical mind will agree with me on these points. When he saw the girl, he immediately fell in love with her. No problem. But then he went on announcing in classes and college about his ‘ownership' on that girl and any other boy was prohibited from approaching her. This is not cool at all. What if that girl falls in love with another guy of her class? Doesn't she get to choose who she wants to love in her own life? No person can claim su

What is the most important things to have a healthy and strong relationship?

A relationship cannot be kept healthy just by practicing one or two attributes. A healthy and strong relationship needs a lot of attributes that too regularly. Both the partners  cannot  afford to be  angry  at the same time. If your partner is angry, you keep yourself calm. If you're angry, your partner should keep calm. If both get angry at the same time the outcome is always ugly. Both the partners should be  forgiving . Just like when we make mistakes and our family tends to forgive us, the same way we should be forgiving towards our partners for small, unharmful and genuine mistakes. Patience  is one of the most important traits two people need in themselves to be in a strong and healthy relationship. There would come many times where both will feel like they have had enough of drama, but if there isn't abuse or some other major reason, keep patience and wait. Efforts . It is an easy point to write and tell, but equally hard to practice. Just like you canno

What makes a relationship last long?

* Riya and Zoya, two best friends meet each other after years of marriage. * Riya *sobbing *:  ‘He has changed.’ Zoya *surprised*:  ‘Changed? How?’ Riya *wiping her eyes* : ‘He does not say ‘I love you' anymore to me. I don't think he loves me now.’ Zoya *keeps her hand on her chin *:  ‘And?’ Riya *crying again* : ‘When we got married, he used to profess his love for me numerous times in a day, but now, months pass and he hardly ever say those three words.’ Zoya takes a deep breath. ‘Riya, tell me something, you son Ahaan is ten years old right?’ Riya nods. ‘Yes.’ She says. ‘Remember when he was three, you continuously used to tell him about the concept of day and night, the concept of light and darkness. That when it is light, it is daytime, and when it is dark, it is nighttime? Do you still tell him that ten times a day?’ * Riya looks at her friend, confused, shaking her head. * ‘No. Why will I teach him that? Now he has grown up, he knows about

What shouldn't be criticized until it's actually experienced?

‘ The girl with the mustache.’ The year 2009, standard XI ‘ Hey, did you see the new girl?   She has a mustache on her face .’  One girl came up to me one and gestured towards a new admission girl who was sitting silently in her seat. ‘ Who? Arya? I know her from my coaching class. She’s a nice girl. ’ I said. ‘But she has a mustache. Don’t you know boys call her ‘The Man' of the class.’  She giggled. ‘ Yeah? Well okay. Do you or any of the boys know she has PCOS? That she gets a period once a year? That she’s going through treatment for the same?’ ‘Why can't she also go to a parlor too ?’ She rolled her eyes. ‘Not many people cannot afford weekly trips to parlor. She comes from a lower middle-class family and her family can barely afford these necessary things like education and treatment.’ ‘Whatever. I am getting late. Will catch up with you later.’  She flipped her mushroom cut in style and walked away. I knew she was going to gossip about me too, however

It's the liberal media narrative Do breakups have impact on future relationships?

I have this friend, let's call her ‘A'. ‘A' is 25. ‘ A '  is a Company Secretary, Commerce graduate , a lawyer.  ‘ A '  comes from a well to do family. ‘A' looks good. ‘A' is doing a job. ‘A' can write. ‘A' can sing. ‘A' can dance. ‘A' loves being out in the world and loves making friends. ‘A' is a good human too. Despite all these things, ‘A' has been dumped by 3–4 guys in last 3 years. Different boys, different stories, different reasons, but the same ending. Break-up. ‘A' and I met a few days before. We were at a restaurant. She came around 8 in the evening, and though she looked good, I was able to locate deep sadness in her eyes. I asked her what was wrong. She, with slight tears in her eyes, looked at me and said : ‘I don't know what is wrong with me. Every guy I date, like, go into a relationship with, start loving, throw me away   like a toy! They show that they care, but deep down I know all of them

Why am I so afraid to fall in love?

Random answer on Quora He: ' She dumped me and moved on to another city. She just lost interest in me suddenly. I don't know what to do now. It hurts. Love hurts. Another friend in real life - She: ' He cheated on me with another woman. Five years of relationship, and last month I found out he was cheating on me with a colleague of his since past six months. What do I do now? I am destroyed. Love destroyed me. A post on Facebook - He: ' She makes fun of me all the time. She regularly fights with me, calls me a loser because I don't make as much money as some her 'friends'. I am loosing myself in this relationship. Love is a myth. A post on Instagram - She: ' I had to breakup with him. He was abusive and manipulative. He always criticized me, controlled me, sometimes abused me. He humiliated me in private and public. I thought we were in love, but no, love just don't exist. Why you and a lot of other people are afraid of fall

What are some important things in life we always fail to appreciate?

Year 2000 Me : 7 years old. Month : May. Heat in North India: 45 degrees. Electricity supply: ten-twelve hours per day out of twenty-four hours. All the family members and guests who came to visit for a few days in summer vacation sweating badly. Middle class family. No inverter or generator. Every one fanning their little plastic fans. That too 7–8 people had to manage in 3–4 hand fans. Rest are using newspapers. Mum : ‘There is very less water left. Let's not take a bath today. There is heavy electricity and water shortage. Let us save water.’ Everyone is upset. No water to take even a minimal bucket bath. No fan. No chilled water from refrigerator. No electricity. No television. Nothing. Just plain suffering. I know this story is yours too. Most of us are 90’s kids. Some of the most important things we now take for granted is the regular supply of electricity and water. I have seen really bad electricity and water shortage when I was a child. I, like most of 90’s k

What are the expectations of Indian girls for marriage?

Based on a 100% true story: A beautiful girl was married in an average household. The guy was an engineer, the girl, a housewife. Very soon they had two children in some years. The initial few years of marriage were good and normal But then, the younger brother of the man (brother-in-law) of the woman started a business of real estate and got married too. He brought home a rich girl who wanted a good and luxurious life for herself. To keep his wife happy and to become rich quickly the younger brother started doing various illegal things like making substandard houses which were at risk of collapsing, and he got them approved for sale by heavily bribing the people. He further wanted to expand the business so he asked his mother and elder brother to help him financially. He sold all the paternal property of the home and asked money from his brother too to invest in several big projects. The man who was an average job going guy started giving lakhs of his savings to his brother

What should a male writer keep in mind while writing women characters?

If you're a man writing a woman character, do not write like a man. Become that woman character. Keep yourself in her shoes. You cannot justify her character if you would write her as a man. A man writing a woman character as a man will never connect with the women readers. Women think differently, about different things, sometimes overthink too, and almost think all the time, and read too much into the lines. Use this trait. Observe women around yourself in real life. Your mother. Your wife. Your sister. Your daughter. Your friends and colleagues. Observe how real and actual women behave. Who men thinks women are, and who women actually are very different. A real woman is very different from the imaginary woman that exists in a man's mind. Write a strong woman character whose character is developed from start to end. Character shouldn't remain stagnant. Everything a woman do or thinks isn't about men. A woman have thousands of thoughts. Women think about family

How is life at 27 in India?

Struggles of a married and employed man: 1. Work really hard to financially support the family. 2. To give proper time, attention and support to his wife. 2. Secure the financial future of the family. 3. Worry about keeping both his wife and mother/parents happy. 4. Balance all his roles as a son, husband, brother, father, employee and other social and personal commitments. 5. Carry out all his responsibilities without showing too much of his problems. 6. Not complain too much. Struggles of an unmarried/unemployed man: 1. People ask him about his job and financial position tauntingly. 2. He feels both pressure and shame because he is still unemployed. 3. He often worries about his marriage because he cannot marry till the time he is earning a good amount of money. 4. He loses his confidence when he sees men his age having the time of their life with the wife and kids, having jobs, cars and other luxurious things. 5. He, apart from struggling in his studies,

What is the privacy that should be kept between husband and wife?

This is for both men and women : Don't complain about every other issue or fight you both have/had with each other to anyone, especially parents. Remember, you are in marriage, not playschool. Fights and disagreements between a husband and wife are common. No one will be able to resolve your issues, but they will start disliking or hating your spouse because they will think you are suffering because of your spouse. Don't criticize your partner or make their fun or fight with them or insult them in front of anyone. Just like you make love in the privacy of a closed room without indulging third party, same way resolve your issues in the same way. Don't discuss their shortcomings or mistakes in front of anyone. You can fight when you two are alone, but for the world you should be one team. If your partner is going through a rough patch, health or finance wise, support them instead of singing about their weakness and their bad times in front of family and friends. They