Vidushi Gupta : The SoulHome

‘ If your woman fights with you, there is hope. It is when the woman becomes silent, you have truly lost her.’ Keeping everything aside, the biggest sign that a woman neither loves nor wants to be with a man any longer is when she stops fighting, cribbing, complaining, nagging, perfecting, correcting him. The things in women which most husbands/boyfriends hate; the nature of constantly speaking, men don't realize women do not ‘nag' and ‘fight' with any random man walking down the street, sticking on the face of any man out there, constantly asking to help her do the dishes or pay the bills. Women crib only in front of men they genuinely love and sincerely want a future with. Why will I ask my neighbor ten times a day to not drink alcohol or to be safe on roads? Why will I ask that classmate of mine thrice a day whether or not he had had his food? Why will I ask that Instagram model if he is okay in life? Why will I assure the Quora guy that I believe in him an...

Dear fellow ‘feminist' women, I am a woman too. I am a feminist too. I advocate for the equality of choices and opportunities too. I am a writer, an author and there are a lot of aspects to my professional life. But . At the same time, I also want to get married. I want to have kids. I would like to have a family where both mine and his family would be around us. And that does not make me slave. Marriage and motherhood, taking care of families by default is not slavery or torture. My feminism is not  anti-marriage or anti-children . My feminism is about respecting choices of different humans. If a woman wants to get married at 25, let her be. She chose it. She might be happy in doing so. If a woman wants to be pregnant and go through nine hard months to birth her child, let her be. She chose it. She might be happy in doing so. If a woman wants to be a good housemaker and look after her family instead of going to work, let her be. She chose it. She might be happy in do...

Case 1  -  18th April 2019 It was Election Day in my city. We got up early and went to cast our votes. When we came back, and my father was unlocking the main gate, a woman in her mid-thirties,   thin and   short, but still healthy ,  wearing shabby clothes came up to him and asked for some money. I was listening to their conversation because I was standing close to him. She  - “ Sir, give me some money sir. I have a marriage in my home. Please help us, Sir.” My father gave her one 5Rs coin. She (slightly sarcastic and angry) -  “ 5 Rs only? You're rich people. You have a car, you have a big house. At least give 500Rs.” I was furious. I stopped my father from talking to her further and stepped up, and said in the strictest tone. I - “ If these 5 Rs are disrespectful to you, return me the coin, I will happily accept it back because we earn every penny by honesty and hard work, and we are not obligated in any way to give you any money for t...

Hate any celebrity? Make fun of him/her? Doesn't matter to them. They will always be more famous, rich and successful than most of us. At the end of the day, we all know them, and they don't know us. Think you're the best? Think again. People will always judge you. No matter what you do or don't do. Marriages aren't complex. It is the immaturity and selfishness of people  in them who break them. If we take out our parent's money, care, and support, what is left of our reality? We are only kings and queens on the sponsorship of our parents. Alone, we find it hard to manage even three proper meals in one day. We're nothing without our parents, till the time we are properly settled in life. Like in thirties or forties. We want to have more and more, but we want to work less and less. Your husband loves his mother more than he loves you. He always will. Your wife loves her son and daughter more than she loves you. She always will. People can be bought ...

'Humare ghar ladki kyun hogi, humne koi karz nahi lie. Humare ghar toh bas bete honge. Desi ghee ke ladoo hote hain bete toh.’ ‘Why will God send girls in our house. We are not debtors. We will have only sons in our house. After all sons are the richest of sweets.’ These were the exact words of my elder sister's mother-in-law to my mother, which she said sarcastically when my elder sister delivered her first born, a baby boy, 13 years back. A little backdrop : We are three sisters, and my elder sister is married into a house where all four children are men. My brother-in-law, his real brother and his two cousin brothers of his paternal uncle. So when my sister delivered a baby boy, her mother-in-law taunted her indirectly that they are superior as every child born in their family has been a boy because they're not ‘debtors', however my parents are of highest degree, as they have three daughters and not even one son. Year 2011  : Their younger daughter-in...

Hey, you working on your next book ?’ A reader asked me one day on Instagram. ‘Yes, I am.’ I replied. ‘ What’s the plot ?’ He curiously questioned. ‘Well, that's a surprise.’ ‘ Oh tell me a little bit, I won't reveal it to anyone .’ He tried again. ‘Nope.’ The decision was final. ‘It is okay. Well if not yours, can you tell me some other plot, you know, just give me an idea about a book. ’ The guy was adamant. ‘Why?’ ‘ Because I want to be an author too. ’ He revealed. ‘Then you should try to think about the plot by yourself, research about it, read a lot, and then write.’ I explained him the process of writing a book. ‘That is a tedious process. It can all take several months to years. I also have a day job   and other things in my  life , you know. But if you can give me the story line, and help me a bit, you will make my dream come true. I will also pay you. Help me.’  He sounded desperate. ‘Nope. Sorry. If it is really your dream, you'll do it...

Scenario 1: He  : ‘Serve me my dinner fast. I am very hungry.’ She  : ‘Wait for a minute,’ * keeps his plate in front of him *, ‘look, I made your favourite Pasta.’ Him  :  * Tasting food*  ‘No, you ruined my favorite Pasta. It is tasteless. Throw this. I will order a pizza.’ * Makes a face and gets up in anger. * She silently wipes her eyes. Scenario 2 : Him  : ‘Look sweetheart, I brought a dress for you, a gift. It is not expensive, but you'll look very pretty in it.’  He handed her the gift package blushing. She  : ‘What is this? Will I wear this roadside thing? My friends will laugh at me. Why did I even marry you, who can not even gift me one good thing ever!’  She threw the gift on the bed and went inside bathroom . He silently left the room with a heavy heart. What is one of the relationship sin we all should avoid? Belittling the efforts of our partner and disrespecting them. When someone loves us enough to ...

‘ You know Vidushi, I love her a lot, but I can’t tell her that. I cannot show her my love. I act normal and don't show my love and affection when inside my heart I want to make her feel like my Princess every day.’  My friend told me one day on call. ‘Then do it, say it, make her feel like your princess every day. Why are you stopping yourself? Doesn't she love you?’ ‘ No, she loves me a lot. But I am just afraid, that if I will show her too much of my emotions, she will find me unmanly. ’ He replied in a soft yet unsettled tone. He was missing her terribly, I knew. ‘That is not true at all bud. On the contrary, she will feel amazing. Women like men who can show emotions, just don't overdo them every day. Once in a while is enough.’ I assured him. ‘ You sure? She won't make fun of me or leave me because of this right? She won't find me desperate or weak if I told her I love her a lot and need her? ’ He sounded skeptical, almost unbelieving. ‘Absolutely...

Grocery store : ‘Give me that Aunty, I will carry it and keep it in your car.’ A young boy in his early twenties said to an aunt in her late fifties, carrying almost a ten-kilogram carton to her car. Helping the old people politely makes people charming. Cafe  : Him: ‘Okay, I was wrong.’ Her: ‘No, I overreacted.’ Him: ‘I'm sorry.’ Her: ‘I'm sorry too.’ The art of keeping a relationship above ego makes people charming. WhatsApp conversation : Him: ‘So what do you want to do in life?’ Her: ‘Wrong question. Ask me what I want to become in life. I dream of things more than I am allowed to.’ Having life goals make people charming. Conference  : Them: ‘You know so much. You're so intelligent and wise.’ Him: ‘No. I'm not. I'm very ordinary.’ Being humble about oneself makes a person charming. Home  : She: ‘Mom, did you eat your lunch and medicines?’ Mom: ‘No, I forgot.’ She: ‘Mom, you should take care of yourself. Wait, le...

Every important woman loves you differently. No need to compare their love. If you'll compare potatoes, oranges, grapes, and carrots, you'll make your own life mess. Again, your bros and your girlfriend are important in their own roles. You shouldn't leave one over another because of certain new trends shown in movies. Relationships aren't competition of love. Most guys don't get too along with their father emotionally, father-son relationship after teenage does go through emotional changes, but trust me, your old man can give you valuable lessons about manhood from his experiences, both good and bad. Sometimes, more than your mother can. Casual sex and dating too many girls/women might sound cool, especially in teenage and early twenties, but casual sex doesn't hold your hand when you hit your bottom in your life. Love does. Not all women are gold diggers. If she turned down your proposal in a dignified way, just get on with your life instead of...

Caution: If you're looking for a sad story, kindly skip. A 25 year old woman here. A CA final drop out and now an Author and a writer. Well, lonely.. No! I don't feel I am lonely. Professional front: Written a book. Was very positively taken. Writing second book. Write on many social media platforms and also do freelancing and collaborations. Get lots of messages and mails on social media from readers so have conversations with them. Love listening to their stories. Someone who was recently blessed with a baby boy to someone who lost his sister few years back, my readers share a lot with me. Always on a mission to establish some new creative boundaries for myself and never stop. Personal front: Have a supportive family. Go on a walk daily for half an hour with father. Talk almost every night with mother for half hour before sleeping. (Even though most of the times the topic is my marriage :P) Have a boyfriend. We always keep each other updated. S...

When people talk about God, most of them refer to God as an idea, as a faith, as a belief, a hope, not as science, logic or fact. When I say God, be it  The Shiva , or  Jesus Christ , or any God or Lord of any religion around the world, I don't talk about their physicality of existence, but more of their presence in the minds and the hearts of their followers. True, none of us has seen any God. No man or woman can ever prove on this earth scientifically that they have seen God. They might claim they have, but they cannot prove it. But does this logic is substantial evidence enough that the God does not exist at all, even as an idea in our lives? I have no clue what religion does the readers of this answer follow. I follow  Hinduism , and I go to  temples  to pray, and I am sure the readers also pray at their respective worship places like  Churches  and  Mosques . And I am also positive that each one of us feel really positive and energized whe...

Few days back my thirteen year old nephew got slapped by a girl of his class! So some days back my sister reached the tution class sharp at 8 P.M. to pick up her son, but found him crying when he entered the car. ‘ What happened? Why are you crying? Did your teacher scold you ?’ She asked her son. ‘No aunty. A girl slapped him. That too twice .’ Another girl, (my nephew call her sister, and the girl's mother and my sister are very good friends) said while she sat down on the backseat. ‘ Why? What happened? Tell me everything?’  My sister was mortified. ‘ She was calling me ‘fatty' and insulting me continuously, so I also called her ‘fatty ' too.  As soon as I said it, she slapped me twice.’  My nephew answered this time. ‘ And then what did you do?’  My sister enquired. ‘ I did not hit her back, don't worry. You told me not to disrespect girls. But I went and complained to my teacher...

Fights- Give it time to cool down. Contrary to the common belief that a couple should never go to bed angry, I believe that after a heated argument both parties should give each other at least a day to cool down. When my relationship was very new, in the initial months of togetherness, after a fight neither me nor him used to know how to approach a solution and normalcy after a fight. We were both each other's first partner and had no experience in romantic relationships, so our cluelessness did not help us a lot either. So after each fight, I used to actually google how to resolve a fight. And as most articles advice, the one thing I used to pick up most is that you should make up with your partner as soon as you can. That, with due time, I realized is a very bad relationship advice. ' Soon ’ wasn't described anywhere. And most people take the literal meaning of the word, which in most cases just ignite the issue even more. Imagi...

Okay so this question is half incomplete in literal sense, but after going through the “gold digger” theory n number of times on Quora since past sixteen months, I decided to look into the matter. So basically I have categorized women into categories and based it on the kind of romantic partners they seek. A long article ahead . Category 1 : Women with rich parents with rich habits . Now I would like to mention not every girl with rich parents is same, but I am writing on “majority”. These kind of girls are born with a golden spoon in mouth. VLCC, Lakme parlours, gyms, lunches and dinners in expensive places, exotic vacations, a personal car, a wardrobe of branded clothes and shoes and perfume, these girls are “Papa's princess”. So when they choose a partner, subconsciously they look out for a guy who can keep up and provide all that she's habitual of. They can befriend any guy, but for choosing a partner, she will always look for someone who has ...

‘ Chase your dreams, I trust your ability.’  She told him. Little did she realize that he fell in love with her all over again at that moment.  Support . ‘ Go on, I know she's your friend and it is just a lunch. Have good time. And in anyways, I know you're mine.’  She told him not to worry about anything. Little did she know that she earned his respect at that moment.  Trust . ‘ I am sorry for those words. I know I have hurt you a lot. I deeply regret my behavior and I will try not to repeat it.’  Little did she know he adored her at that moment.  Apology . ‘ It's okay. Everyone make mistakes. I know you did not do it intentionally and I know you have realized your mistake. Kindly don't repeat it.’  Little did she know at that moment she gave him another life.  Forgiveness . ‘ Did you take your medicine I kept on the dining table? You have fever. Just have the soup I made for y...

Almost every answer I read here talks about the same thing: ‘Men cheat on their wives because there isn't sufficient sex.’ But as an Indian woman, talking about most Indian men, somewhere I think it is disrespectful to say that men only remain faithful and satisfied in marriage when there is lots of sex. To say that sex is probably the only thing which keeps men hooked to their wives and not go looking for another woman, is somehow misandrist and same like saying that women only remain loyal to their husbands when he makes a lot of money and gives her lots of gifts, which is again hugely misogynistic. Emotional needs of a man: I am very surprised about why no man has written about the emotional needs of a man which often the wives fail to fulfill, or the lack of general compatibility and understanding between them. Cheating has several reasons behind itself, sex, though one of the major reason, isn't the only reason. A man wants respect, support, appreciation and trus...

When I was in school, I was friends with a girl who had ‘ entitlement syndrome’. Every time I did anything for her, like help her in her projects, pick her up/ drop her off for and after school, or lend her my stuff, in return of sweet smile or ‘thank you' she used to just brush it off. I used to feel bad, but I did not say anything. After all she was my good friend. Maybe she just lacked a basic courtesy, but she was good in some parts too. One day I just asked her casually why she never acknowledges the stuff I do for her. Her reply was simple- ‘ Why should I? We are friends and you're supposed to do these things for me. What’s so special about them?’ I was a little shocked. Yes, I felt bad. Was I ‘supposed' to do things for her because we were friends. Was I under any sort of obligation? But I always did things for her from my heart. She was someone I truly cared for, someone I wanted to help when she needed it. I never felt that I was ...