Why are Indian Feminist unhappy with 'Kabir Singh'?

I am an Indian feminist and I am not ‘unhappy' with Kabir Singh.

I have seen Arjun Reddy and planning to watch Kabir Singh soon, but heard that both the stories are almost identical, so I guess I can expect the exact replica but with Shahid Kapoor speaking in Hindi this time.

So coming back to the point, I as an Indian feminist liked the movie ‘Arjun Reddy' when it came to ‘entertainment'.

However, there are few points which I disliked in the movie from a practical point of view, and I think anyone, not just a feminist, anyone with a logical mind will agree with me on these points.

• When he saw the girl, he immediately fell in love with her. No problem. But then he went on announcing in classes and college about his ‘ownership' on that girl and any other boy was prohibited from approaching her. This is not cool at all. What if that girl falls in love with another guy of her class? Doesn't she get to choose who she wants to love in her own life? No person can claim such ‘ownership’ on another human.

Is she a mango from a mango tree? No Sir, she's a girl having her own heart.

• In one scene, Arjun Reddy forces a girl to drop her pants by actually showing her a knife. Seriously? How can this scene be justified even in a movie? Forcing a girl to undress on the tip of a knife in a rage to have sex. It even sounds so wrong.

• In another scene, the main character just kisses the girl in the college garden on the first day he saw her, without her permission. Her expression clearly shows discomfort. Is she looking happy?

• Another scene, the male character goes to the girl's hostel and sleeps on the girl's lap, without asking her if she's okay with such act of intimacy. Remember till now the girl has never consented or said she loves him too. He is doing all these things just because ‘he’ ‘loves' her, and that is why he feels entitled to do all such things with her. Whether she loves him or if his actions are completely unacceptable to her, the male character pays no attention to it.

Is her character looking happy when he is sleeping on her lap without asking what she wants? Does she appreciate such gestures of ‘love'?

• She has joined the college to study in the class from fully qualified professors of the college, and not to leave her classes and attendance every other day and instead learn by her senior who apparently teach her in sunsets with serene river flowing behind them by drawing complex diagrams on her hands.

Does her body language resembles of a woman who is deeply in love and is spending time with her beloved?

• He even chooses her friends for her. According to his character, two beautiful girls can never be friends but a ‘beautiful girl and a fat girl' can be. How cute is that!

Which person would want to be told who he or she should befriend?

I won't include that slap scene in this list because the female character also slaps him multiple times in the end (which again isn't right, depicting you can just slap your partner because you were ‘angry' on them or they made a mistake.).

I am also not including the fact that the male character is shown to be deeply in violence, anger, drugs, smoking, alcohol, his “attempts” with women just to get over the woman he loved.

I am also not including the fact in the name of love and longing, the character is portrayed as the 21st century’s “Dark Devdas”.

From the entertainment point of view, I liked Arjun Reddy and I know I will like Kabir Singh too.

Even though his intensity is dark, the movie is pretty entertaining.

However, when it comes to the practicality and message it delivers to the young girls and guys of this country, Arjun Reddy or Kabir Singh do set a bad example.

As a girl, I can honestly tell you from personal experiences that there are guys who actually do all these things which according to Bollywood and Tollywood is ‘love' but in reality is downright harassment, intimidation and stalking and can lead to imprisonment. Imagine as a girl you have a man sending you several unwanted messages just because he feels nice in doing so. Imagine as a girl a guy stalking you everywhere he can and justifying his actions in the name of ‘true love'.

Would you feel comfortable?

I, as a girl who writes on various platforms get amples of messages and mails of ‘true love' like these every once in a while, sometimes repeatedly. Sometimes the messages in them are really explicit, just because the other person finds satisfaction in writing those things and sending it to me.

But does those messages give me satisfaction?

No. Now I just block them even without reading.

But his love was true! You might want to say.

Nope. True love asks for consent. True loves cares enough to see the comfort and discomfort of another person. True love doesn't boss you around. True love does not claim ownership. True love is not obsessive or possessive. And finally, true love is in letting go for life if that is what the other person wants. True love does not harass. Not physicall, not emotionally, not mentally, not financially.

You think these men who sends me messages and mails even when I never consented, replied, encouraged, or showed any interest to them really love me truly?

Imagine a girl, roughly a teenager who joins a college and suddenly founds herself being followed, bossed, kissed, driven, controlled by a guy she barely knows, just because the guy ‘loves’ her.

Any normal girl will feel scared and captivated.

The girl in the movie reciprocated, because it's a movie and her character was written like that. I don't know if any girl would appreciate such things in real life.

Just like this movie was a classic example of feminism gone bad.

This movie has confused love, possession, obsession all at the same time.

More than toxic masculinity, this movie potrays toxic concept of love and romance.

Even if a girl will do these things with a guy in the name of love, he will feel discomfort, uneasy and probably even scared and chained.

We need to understand not everything is fair in love and war. There is a boundary. Especially the boundary of consent.

And this movie has ignored this boundary effortlessly.

Few days back when I wrote an answer where I told that my male best friend sent me sexual messages which eventually led to the end of our friendship. Some guy commented that my friend ‘loved' me and that is why his messages were justified and I would have been okay if my boyfriend had sent me the same messages.

Well, the difference between a boyfriend and a male friend or any stranger guy is that my boyfriend has my consent and I have his. We are in a relationship soon to be married in a year.

I never gave consent to my friend that he can send me sexual messages. And that is why he wasn't justified.

‘Love' does not justify every action.

‘Consent' is the most important thing.

Guys and girls, please don't take your love tutions from people like Arjun Reddy or Kabir Singh.

In real life, I, don't think they will work at all.

Just watch the movie for 3 hours entertainment.

Don't bring any message or lessons from it.

Or add consent from the female character right from the start and make it one of the best romantic films ever made.