How did arranged marriages work so well for the older generations but fail in modern times?

This article is going to be a little blunt and might not go well with the ‘modern minds', but well, the question requires this :

In olden times the marriageable age was 16–22: Both for a boy and girl, the marriageable age was quite low, when their minds were young and innocent. So they found it less difficult to adjust because they practically grew up together, unlike today when most educated people are marrying around 25–30 years of age, where they have their own solid minds and personalities and find compromising hard.

In olden times, marriage did not happen for companionship: For a girl, marriage was necessary to have a husband in the society. For the boy, he married to bring in a woman who can take care of his parents, look after his home, and birth next generation (preferably boys). Their motive was not companionship. Today, however, these points do exist but as secondary. Primarily, men and women look for their companions in marriage.

In olden times women didn't have male friends, men didn't have female friends: No friends of the opposite gender? No one to regularly compare your partner to. These day one can easily spot a couple fighting about that one ‘male best friend' or ‘female best friend' who causes regular discomfort in the marriage.

In olden times, people did not come with baggage: The older generations did not had relationships before marriage. May be they liked someone, but the concept of love in that society was majorly unheard of. Therefore they had no emotional or physical baggage. Today, before marrying, people have 3–4 relationships, and come with a heavy emotional baggage.

In olden times, arranged marriages were the only way: When there were almost no relationships, the ratio of love marriages was also almost nil. 40–100 years back, how many love marriages did India see? Arranged marriages were the only way to get married.


In olden times, there was no ego clash between husband and wife. That is completely different today as men and women have high egos. Sometimes more important than their relationship and marriage.


In olden times, remarriage wasn't easy unlike today. However now, people know that they can get married again because truly there are so many men and women around us all the time.

In the olden times, parents knew their children, and had ownership rights over them: In the past century, children used to live with their parents, and not venture out for job and studies, so parents relatively knew more about their children. Also children were obedient at that time and controllable. Now, parents live in Delhi and the kid is working in Pune. Children move out at the age of 18–22, makes their own life and personality which parents are unaware of. And children today do not blindly follow their parents.

In olden times, people did not think about sexual compatibility too- Sex largely happened after marriage, with the spouse.

In olden times, patriarchal society was more evident with clear cut gender roles - Men worked outside, women worked inside. Men earned money, women took care of the man's parents and their children. Today, the gender roles are blurred, and that has confused the modern day men and women about who will do what in home.

In olden times, education wasn't so advanced: The more educated we are, the more we are aware of the world around us, the more we know our worth and rights and that life has so much to offer, the less we are tending to explain our boundaries.

In olden times, boys and girls did not care about the personal equation between them: They just married wherever their parents told them to, however now, men and women look out for partners based on their compatibility.

In olden times, women had almost no social or legal rights: The women were highly dependent on their husband and did not retaliated even when she was abused in any way. Thankfully that has changed now and women can walk out of marriages where they are being abused.
In olden times, divorce was a taboo: What is divorce?

Previous generations - ‘We are married. We need to compromise, we need to sacrifice. This is how life is.’
Current generations - ‘We are married, but we don't want to compromise or sacrifice too much. We have got one life, why waste it like this?’

All in all, the era where arranged marriages worked was a different era altogether. Now we are in 2019, and the truth that faces us today is that in the upcoming years, arranged marriages will lose their place in society.